" Whether at bars, parties, tailgates, classroom buildings or just hanging out in dorms, Notre Dame Students love to form small circles. These small circles are critical to the Notre Dame social scene not only for their functional practicality, but also because of what their existence tells other people.While small circles can be seen almost anywhere, the most common place to see small circles is at bars. The Backer, Finnegan’s, Fever, and Corby’s are all places where small circles are frequently seen. Small circles are important at bars because they allow the Students to talk to each of their friends despite the loud songs, and also allow the students to more effectively sing the choruses of said loud songs as opposed to awkwardly standing alone. Small circles are especially critical for certain songs, such as God Bless the USA and Piano Man, so that Students can put their arms around each other and sway to the music.
Small circles are also important for their ramifications on the Notre Dame social scene. You can tell a lot about a person by what small circle they are a part of. While Notre Dame Students are inherently uncool, you discover things about the crowd a person rolls with by looking at the members of their small circles. Small circles are most readily formed by people who went abroad together, people that play in the marching band together, people who lived in dorms together, and people who served on student government committees together. A Notre Dame Student will quickly know if they can join a small circle just by the people who are in it.
Small circles are important to the Notre Dame social scene because they facilitate the notion of the group. If a Notre Dame Student wants to enter into a long-term relationship with another Notre Dame Student, the obvious first step is to enter into a small circle with them. The small circle is the first step in any good Notre Dame relationship, or even any Notre Dame friendship, and it should not be forgotten. "
http://www.thingsnotredamestudentslike.com/
Clearly, small social groups (circles, as bob likes to call them) are critical to the existence of Notre Dame students. If one does not have a group, then he is a social outcast. Incoming freshman fret not finding a group and will do anything to be a part of one, even if they have very little in common with other group members. Students will skip meals to avoid having to go to the dining hall alone and possibly encounter an awkward situation. It is as if the university teaches dependence on a group, rejecting any value associated with independence.
Now, as bob mentions, one of the groups that forms is the group of students who travel abroad together. Certainly, we are no exception. Although our program is only six weeks long, I have no doubt that we will continue to hang out with some regularity if not frequency, once we return to South Bend. I have no objection, quite the opposite, in fact. I quite look forward to seeing everyone on campus and loudly shouting "WYNBERG!!!!!!" to Mary as she walks toward DeBart. What I don't like, however, is the necessity of people to stay in groups while in Cape Town. It's like people have to get a threesome together just to walk the four blocks to Pick 'N Pay. Now, I recognize that it's different because I'm a boy so I have fewer safety issues to deal with, but is it really that scary to walk four blocks in a decent area in broad daylight? Perhaps I'm too judgmental (ok, I'm definitely too judgmental).
So, excuse me for wanting to break out. It's not that I've become antisocial, just frustrated. For example, one day for lunch I go to Kuaii for lunch (chicken caesar salad = heaven) and to read some more of Me Talk Pretty One Day. So, I finish lunch and walk back to class and arrive a few minutes early. I sit down and listen to music and a few minutes later Molly and the typical gang walk in. She asks what I'm doing there by myself, I answer, and it's like she's looking at an alien. Why am I suddenly seen as the weirdest person ever? For wanting to be alone. Now, I consider myself a very social and sociable person, but sometimes I just want time alone. When I'm alone, I can actually think, I can reflect, and I notice things that I wouldn't normally. I can take time to stare at the clouds without holding people up and I can go wherever I want whenever I want and I don't have to consider others. So call me selfish. I will be the first to admit that a.) I'm pretty easy to live with (I hope) and b.) I quickly get annoyed when being with people too much. It's not that I'm difficult to live with, but more so that it's difficult to live with me (if that makes any sense). Naturally, after living with people for six weeks, going to class with them, and going out with them every night, you start noticing the little things. Well maybe I'm just extra observant because it only took me 3 weeks to start picking them out (yes, I'm a bitch).
So, I decided that instead of whining I should actually do something. This weekend I went to Muizenberg beach all by myself (*pats myself on back*). Let me tell you, it was great, in a very strange sort of way. I'm still getting used to the whole alone in public thing so it definitely felt strange as I watched families, friends, and partners playing in the sand while I sat there reading my book, but it was a good weird. I enjoyed just sitting there and watching the tide roll in. I enjoyed looking out into the infinite sea and seeing no end beyond the horizon. I actually enjoyed being alone.
So, here's to independence! The next time you see me, I may just be alone, reading a book, or staring at the sky.
Sincerely,
Jason
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